……beau†iful.surrender……

This past week, I've been thinking a lot about different things and slowly realizing how drastically my life is going to change in 1 month and 3 days from now. I am going to miss a lot of things. I'll miss one of my favorite things to do... driving. But I shouldn't think about things I'm going to miss but look forward to what God has in store for me.　As much as I hate being content, at the same time I'm scared of being pushed out of it. It's hard though at times.
今週いろいろ考えていて、後一ヶ月三日に私の人生に大きい変化がある事を少しずつきずいてきた。いろんな事がこいしくなる。特に私の趣味、運転する事。でもそんな事考えていてもよくないと思う・・こいしくなる事を考えるんじゃなくて、神様が私の為に何があるか前向きで見ないと。満足で気楽な人生をおくるのは嫌だけど、同時にそこから押し出されるのも怖い。

After chapel, I was sitting by myself, praying and waiting on God and I felt so weak. I felt so unworthy of what God has called me to do, whatever that would be. I prayed that someone would come up to me and feel led to pray for me because I felt like I couldn't pray for myself at the time. Within 5 minutes, Rachelle came up to me and told me that she wanted to pray for me. I was thinking it was a selfish thing to ask God for, but He answered my call. It's amazing to know that God cares for the tiniest little detail of our lives.
チャペルの時間の後、一人で座って、祈ってて、神様を待ち望んでいた時にすごく弱く感じた。神様が私にやってほしい事が自分にはできないって思うほど弱く感じた。だから、誰か私のとこへ来て、私の為に祈ってくれる人を送ってくれるように祈った。その時点では自分の為に祈れない感じをしてたから。５分以内にラシェルが私に来て、私の為に祈りたいって言って、祈ってくれた。私が神様に聞いた事が自己中心的だったけど、それでも神様が私の祈りに答えてくれた。本当に細かい物でも神様は私の事気にしてくれてるって本当にすごいと思う。

Right now, I'm still at a point where I feel broken. But I know that God is building me back up to be who He called me to be.
今はまだちょっと打ち砕かれた状態。でも、神様は私が使えるようにもっと強く立て直してくれてる。

All I Need is You LORD