……beau†iful.surrender……

What? Seriously!? I was in the recording studio yesterday from 7:30AM to 2AM. That's PRETTY ridiculous if you ask me. I had a break between 10:30- to 12 for lunch, but seriously, it was a long session, although it went really fast.
えっ？マジ？昨日、朝７時半から朝の２時までレコーディングしてました。結構長い・・１０時半から１２時までお昼食べる時間はあったけど、すごく長いセッションだった。結構時間がたつのは早かったけどね。

What am I recording? Well... my senior project. My senior project is to have a demo CD with 5 songs of mine written in Japanese. It was funny because my friends who helped me out all didn't know what they were hearing me sing. haha. Except now they know the phrase "Genki Dashite" which is kinda like "Cheer up!"
何の為にレコーディング？私のシニアープルジェクトのため。私のプルジェクトは私が日本語で作曲した曲をデモCDにする事。私の友達が手伝ってくれたんだけど、実際には私が何を歌ってるのかは全然分かってなかった。（笑）でも、今はみんな『元気出して』は言えるようになった見たい。

Since I sang for a huge chunk of that time, my throat is pretty shattered right now. I decided to put myself on vocal rest and not really talk for the rest of the day unless if I need to. My senior recital is in a week, so I can't be wrecking my voice right now >.< 長時間歌ってたから、のどが結構ダメになちゃった。だから、今日はボーカル・レストをする事にして、今日はあんまり喋らないようにする・・シニアー発表会が玲集だから、ちゃんとのどのお手入れをしないとダメ！！>.<

25 days and counting until Japan!
後２５日で日本！

はい。そうです。もう一ヶ月ないです。ちょっと緊張してきました。今日友達とアイスクリーム食べて、近くの湖へいっていろいろ話したけど、ちょっとずつ寂しくなってきた。ミネソタではすごく良い友達や、先生達にめぐりあえて本当に私は祝福されています。日本や香港へ行ったら新しい友達をつくらないと。楽しみだけど、アメリカにいる友達がこいしくなると思う。やっぱり人との関係はすぐ近くならないし、誰かを信頼するのも時間がかかるしね。
Yes. That's right. It's less than a month. I'm starting to get nervous. Today, I went out for ice cream, went to a nearby lake with a friend and talked about stuff, but slowly I started feeling lonely. In Minnesota, I have a lot of great friends, teachers that I had the opportunity to get to know and be blessed by. When I go to Japan and Hong Kong, I gotta make new friends. I'm really excited, but I know I'll miss my American friends. You can't easily get close relationships or trust someone right away, it takes time.

でも、心配はない！神様が私のインマヌエル、ともにいる。
But, there's no fear! God is my Immanuel, God with us.

This past week, I've been thinking a lot about different things and slowly realizing how drastically my life is going to change in 1 month and 3 days from now. I am going to miss a lot of things. I'll miss one of my favorite things to do... driving. But I shouldn't think about things I'm going to miss but look forward to what God has in store for me.　As much as I hate being content, at the same time I'm scared of being pushed out of it. It's hard though at times.
今週いろいろ考えていて、後一ヶ月三日に私の人生に大きい変化がある事を少しずつきずいてきた。いろんな事がこいしくなる。特に私の趣味、運転する事。でもそんな事考えていてもよくないと思う・・こいしくなる事を考えるんじゃなくて、神様が私の為に何があるか前向きで見ないと。満足で気楽な人生をおくるのは嫌だけど、同時にそこから押し出されるのも怖い。

After chapel, I was sitting by myself, praying and waiting on God and I felt so weak. I felt so unworthy of what God has called me to do, whatever that would be. I prayed that someone would come up to me and feel led to pray for me because I felt like I couldn't pray for myself at the time. Within 5 minutes, Rachelle came up to me and told me that she wanted to pray for me. I was thinking it was a selfish thing to ask God for, but He answered my call. It's amazing to know that God cares for the tiniest little detail of our lives.
チャペルの時間の後、一人で座って、祈ってて、神様を待ち望んでいた時にすごく弱く感じた。神様が私にやってほしい事が自分にはできないって思うほど弱く感じた。だから、誰か私のとこへ来て、私の為に祈ってくれる人を送ってくれるように祈った。その時点では自分の為に祈れない感じをしてたから。５分以内にラシェルが私に来て、私の為に祈りたいって言って、祈ってくれた。私が神様に聞いた事が自己中心的だったけど、それでも神様が私の祈りに答えてくれた。本当に細かい物でも神様は私の事気にしてくれてるって本当にすごいと思う。

Right now, I'm still at a point where I feel broken. But I know that God is building me back up to be who He called me to be.
今はまだちょっと打ち砕かれた状態。でも、神様は私が使えるようにもっと強く立て直してくれてる。

All I Need is You LORD

あぁ〜またやちゃった。
Ah~ I did it again.

１１個目のピアスを開けてしまった・・（ってか全部で合計１３個。２個はふさがちゃったけど）私の元ルームメートのベッキーと買い物行ってたら彼女が急にやりたいって言い出して、やる事にした。w今回からは空港のメタルディテクターに捕まるかも。
I got my 11th ear-piercing today... (well, I've gotten a total of 13. But 2 of them closed up) I was shopping with my old roommate, Becky, and she all of the sudden had the urge to get it done, so we decided to do it. lol. Maybe this time around, I'll get caught at the metal detector at the airport or something. :-P


We had a pre-graduating senior luncheon today. It was weird. I'm graduating.... COLLEGE. I still feel like I am a little kid. They had a few alumni speakers before we ate lunch and it was quite interesting. One of the people shared with us how her life sucks right now and is in a TON of debt. Great. It was a sad laughter afterwards. A lot of us didn't know what to say. It definitely didn't encourage me...
今日は卒業する学生さん達のランチがありました。なんか変。私もうすぐ卒業する・・大学から。まだ子供みたいに感じる。食べる前に何人か卒業生の人達にあかししてもらってなんか結構変わってた。一人女性が卒業後、人生が結構辛くてよくないって言ってて、結構お金に困ってるって。う〜ん。悲しい方で笑ってた。聞いてた人達は何を言えば良いか空気読めなかった。励まされたとは言えないね・・

まぁ〜人生いろいろ楽しみ！神様がいつもいてくれるし、心配ないから。
Well~I'm excited about life! God's always with me, there's no worries!

I was burning a CD for Adam, the lead guitar player from my One Accord, and it was really weird. I went through all my pictures and started reminiscing about everything we did in that 7 months. Four months have already passed since we OA' 07 disbanded. Well yeah. Disbanded. I don't like that word. Anyway, I feel like I've grown soo much spiritually during those 7 months. Especially because I HAD to have a close relationship with God, that wasn't an option. Or else I couldn't have done everything that we did during that tour. God gave me soo many awesome opportunities too! Reggie Dabbs is amazing, he's so great. I miss being a counselor. I miss those loud crazy junior highers. I miss leading 2000+ youth in a time of worship. I miss being on the road. sigh...
アダム、私が入ってたバンド、One Accordのリードギターリストの為に写真入りのCDを作ってた間にいろいろ思い出を思い出してきた。７ヶ月分の思いで。なんか変な感じだった。バンドが解散した時からもう４ヶ月経つ・・うん。解散。その言葉あんま好きじゃない。まぁとにかく、その７ヶ月間で霊的に育ったと思う。って言うか神様との関係が強くなきゃツアーの間やったこと全然何もできなかった。神様はいろんなきかいをくれたしね！レジー・ダブスは素晴らしい人だし。カウンセラーになった事や、よく暴れるうるさい中学生の子達、２０００人以上のユースと一緒に賛美の時間を持てた事、とツアーやってた事、全部こいしい・・ハー（ため息）

But because of all these opportunities, I'm here now. I had an opportunity to go to Osaka, and now I'm graduating. Whoa. Praise God!
っでいろいろ経験して今はここにいる。大阪へ行って手伝えたし、でもうすぐ卒業。うぁ。神様に賛美！